As follow up to my last blog, You Should Talk Before…, I thought I would continue the theme about conversations. So, let’s go!
Have you ever had a difficult conversation with someone? I’m sure you have – whether it was at home or work, with a partner or coworker, or on a topic like money, health issues or relationships. Those can be challenging scenarios. Everyone has had to have those conversations somewhere during their journey. They may be spurred by a series of events or a single event. When they happen, you know it. I think it is safe to assume that most of us want to avoid those conversations because they are difficult!
Because these conversations are hard, I believe this is one of the more challenging aspects of leadership. A supervisor’s relationship with their subordinate is always in tension. There is a natural tension between managing the relationship, getting assigned work done and the feedback loop. When you have good relations with your best workers, the feedback is generally positive and easy to deliver. It usually goes something along the lines of “Great job, Suzie, in getting that task done this morning!” “Suzie,” who is a high performer and conscientious worker, normally completes her tasks within the budget with good quality. The feedback you give her is positive, so it is easy to give.
But what happens when you must deal with “Fred”? Fred is an employee that you really must push – to stay on task, meet quality standards and stay off his phone. He is argumentative about everything and comes to work when he wants. Do you know “Fred”? I do and have worked with him my entire career. There’s always a “Fred” at work.
Fred, by his nature, can be a supervisor’s nightmare! Fred has learned over time that his behavior is difficult to handle, and supervisors mostly won’t deal with him. Why? Because it would turn into a hard conversation! Remember, my premise here is that people try to avoid hard conversations.
The “Freds” in the workplace are easier to deal with than you think. The hard conversations can be less painful (less painful although not necessarily easy) if you follow a few simple steps. Let’s talk about them.
- The first and most basic step is to set clear expectations. In my opinion, this step is often ASSUMED and not clearly communicated. In this step it is imperative to detail the task, define the scope of the task and say what success looks like when the task is completed. For example: “Suzie, I need you to insulate pipe segments x, y and z before lunch with the appropriate insulation.”
- Deal with the facts. One of the aspects that makes hard conversations hard is they usually have feelings or emotions involved in them. To combat this, getting the facts and only talking about the facts helps minimize the feelings in the conversation. When dealing with facts, the conversation sounds like, “You had three occurrences of loose bolts on flange XX during the past three weeks.” That is specific feedback, instead of more general feedback such as, “I feel like you haven’t been doing a good job lately.” One of those statements will yield a better and easier conversation than the other.
- Document the bad behaviors that are inconsistent with company policies and rules. One of the tasks that falls under a manager’s job is documenting poor or inconsistent behaviors by subordinates. Admittedly, this step takes time and organization to make sure that you are consistently documenting those behaviors that need changed. When you can give a person clear examples of what is not good or what you are looking for, it helps the discussion go better.
- Get organized with the facts and have a planned discussion to talk with someone. Having spontaneous hard conversations is never a good idea and rarely turns out the way you would prefer. Take time to prepare for those conversations so that you have your facts in order, have thought about what you want to say and how and choose a time where you won’t be rushed. This will help the outcome. Pick the time when you will be at your best!
- Use the disciplinary process as a last resort, if the employee doesn’t change the behaviors that need changing. There is not much to say here except that all of the preparations that you did in the first steps will make this part much easier from an administrative point of view. If you need to use this route, the conversation will still be difficult, but you will have done everything that you needed to do to help Fred change his ways.
I have found in my professional life that these steps help me with many conversations that could be difficult. Hard conversations are difficult because of the potential to evoke feelings and emotions; however, by taking the steps above, you may be able to reduce the effect of the feelings on the conversation. Good luck!
See you on the deckplates!
Safely Execute High-Quality Work